Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Who needs an original idea when you have a franchise?

So the Keymaster posted yesterday about the fact that there will be, some time in the near future, a new Rocky movie. Yep, Rocky VI ladies and gentlemen. After the debacle that was Rocky V (Tommy Gunn anyone?), Sly has decided to take time off from becoming one giant walking vein to make part VI. is saying that rather than Rocky VI, it will simply be called Rocky Balboa, and that it will be a return to the feel of parts II and III. His opponent will supposedly be Roy Jones, Jr., (last seen as Ballard in The Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions) as Mason Dixon, continuing in the tradition of interesting but mildly retarded villian names in the Rocky series. It sounds like it's going to be a "Rocky looks back at his life before entering the ring one last time" sort of thing, which...potential dullness alert. I've written a brief paragraph that I think could describe the next movie pretty well.

In Rocky I, he started down the path to become one of the world's greatest fighters. In Rocky II, he overcame his first obstacle and formed a lasting frienship. In Rocky III, he lost his mentor and fought a powerful opponent. In Rocky IV, death visited him once again as he fought for the honor of his country. In Rocky V, he returned to the streets from which he came to fight for integrity, honor, and family. And now, in Rocky VI, he will face the loss of his beloved soul mate as he takes one his greatest opponent yet:

Medicare reform.

Rocky VI: The Oldening. Coming to a theater or nursing facility near you.

So there you go kids. Keep your eyes open for this one, as well as revivals of other popular series:

Indiana Jones and the Lost Eyeglasses
Jaws 5: Attack of the Greenpeace Hippies
Friday the 13th Part 11: Jason vs. The Red Wings
Halloween 8: Ding Dong Ditch
Back to the Future 4: Let's Piss Off Stephen Hawking Some More


Blogger J.T. said...


The Contender RULES!

2:53 PM  
Blogger Keymaster said...

I totally think Rocky needs to train his son. Then his son can say cool things like "Yo,!"

3:01 PM  
Anonymous jamie said...


The Next NEXT Karate Kid: The One Who Can Beat the Million Dollar Baby.

11:22 PM  

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