Friday, October 28, 2005

Winging my way to Californ-i-a!

Aight fools, I'm away to sunny San Diego, for good free food, beautiful locales, the delicious smell of salt water, and maybe a little work if there's time. Maybe while there I'll meet a rockin' indie hipster:

Or a hot but shallow girl that I can woo with my wit and charm:

Hopeful dreams, both. But my experience is really more likely to be along the lines of this:

So until next time kids, have a lovely and safe Halloween (don't eat Mrs. Magillicutty's caramel apples, and don't give in to Mr. Wallace's invitation to "see what I got in Reno.") Peace to the nations of Zulu and Islam!

Californiaaaaaaaaa, Californiaaaaaaaa, here I coooooooooome!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

I'm rich bitch!

My blog is worth $3,387.24.
How much is your blog worth?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Whole lotta linkin' goin' on!

I'm trying to be more regular about posting (thanks a lot, Babs). However, I have no new witty musings, no rants about the psychopathic nature of...uh...nature, and no wacky polls or quizzes describing my innermost self via characters from My Mother the Car. And so, in order to keep the flow flowing free-flow style, I present to you - in beautiful Technicolor and Roto-Scope - links!

1) This artist appears to have infiltrated my mind, stolen my most glorious daydreams, and garnered fame and love from it. So THAT explains why I continue to labour in complete obscurity.

2) This could, quite possibly, be the coolest commercial EVER. And it's for a TV, so you KNOW I love it.

3) Despite the fact that this fake drink is so mind-numbingly disgusting as to be incomprehensible, if you told the Dallas elite it was real, they'd be lined up six deep to buy multiple shots of it and drink it out of sorority girls' navels. Bastards.

Next time on My Hurricane Head: Why the Rich/Poor Wars of 2025 will be awesome and horrific, but not nearly so much as the Human/Robot Wars of 2046. Plus, monkeys smoking cigarettes! (Yes, I know it's technically an ape and not a monkey, but who's interested in "apes smoking cigarettes"? Self-righteous bastards, that's who.)

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The irony, she is large.

No smoking around The Bagboy. Thank you for your cooperation.



Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Who needs an original idea when you have a franchise?

So the Keymaster posted yesterday about the fact that there will be, some time in the near future, a new Rocky movie. Yep, Rocky VI ladies and gentlemen. After the debacle that was Rocky V (Tommy Gunn anyone?), Sly has decided to take time off from becoming one giant walking vein to make part VI. is saying that rather than Rocky VI, it will simply be called Rocky Balboa, and that it will be a return to the feel of parts II and III. His opponent will supposedly be Roy Jones, Jr., (last seen as Ballard in The Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions) as Mason Dixon, continuing in the tradition of interesting but mildly retarded villian names in the Rocky series. It sounds like it's going to be a "Rocky looks back at his life before entering the ring one last time" sort of thing, which...potential dullness alert. I've written a brief paragraph that I think could describe the next movie pretty well.

In Rocky I, he started down the path to become one of the world's greatest fighters. In Rocky II, he overcame his first obstacle and formed a lasting frienship. In Rocky III, he lost his mentor and fought a powerful opponent. In Rocky IV, death visited him once again as he fought for the honor of his country. In Rocky V, he returned to the streets from which he came to fight for integrity, honor, and family. And now, in Rocky VI, he will face the loss of his beloved soul mate as he takes one his greatest opponent yet:

Medicare reform.

Rocky VI: The Oldening. Coming to a theater or nursing facility near you.

So there you go kids. Keep your eyes open for this one, as well as revivals of other popular series:

Indiana Jones and the Lost Eyeglasses
Jaws 5: Attack of the Greenpeace Hippies
Friday the 13th Part 11: Jason vs. The Red Wings
Halloween 8: Ding Dong Ditch
Back to the Future 4: Let's Piss Off Stephen Hawking Some More

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Full up on crazy and no stopping 'till dawn!

Anti-abortion activists have taken a number of tacts over the years to try to get their point across. Protests, lobbyists, boycotts...even a bomber or two. But never has the anti-abortion movement been so plainly disturbing until the advent of Lil' Markie. His real name is Mark Fox, and his raison d'etre is apparently scaring the blue hell out of people with child voices and fundamentalist wankery. You can read a bit more about him here. But most important to this particular post is the song "Diary of an Unborn Child". It's a story, of sorts, told from the perspective of said unborn child. And yes, it's just as amazingly disturbing as it sounds. Listen if you dare, but IF you dare, listen all the way to the end.

Also? Why do I have to keep being right all the time?

Monday, October 03, 2005

Except for the hawtness, not terribly surprising.

"Which LOST character are you?"

You are Sawyer. You are a Jackass.