Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I don't post when I don't have much to say

Yeah, it's been a while. I haven't really had anything new or exciting to add that I would deem worthy of a visit to my humble little blog. I thought I would at least get a snide comment or two on my last post, being as it was so filled with hotlinks and angst. Hey, that sounds like an ad for canned stew or something. "Mr. McMeaty's Hearty Stew! Now with more hotlinks and angst! Mr. McMeaty's - for when rotten horse meat just isn't filling enough!"

Anyhoodle. I tried to elevate things with Krista, to no avail. She recently had a showing of her work, and I showed up looking and acting my best. Dressed head to toe in black, carrying freshly purchased lilies (thought not the kind she really likes...calla lilies are hard to find at the last minute...on a Saturday...at 5:30 PM), I went in ready to woo and win. I ended up spending most of my time on the periphery, watching her meet 'n greet her guests. Well, my friends who went with me had to go to prepare for a party we were all attending later, but I chose to stick around, hoping the impression I was trying to make wouldn't go unnoticed. I was quickly disabused of that notion when I noticed that she left the flowers sitting in the kitchen of the gallery when she left. And to top all that off, I firmly believe she had a "date" there. So that avenue's gone. Amber told me to look at it as the wonderful confidence builder that it should have been. No dice there. She also told me it freed me up for other women (HA!). But Krista was...very special. I hadn't connected with someone like her in a while. So it's back to the drawing board, and that image I once had of myself as a lonely, overweight forty-year-old man in a laundromat looms ever closer.

I'm being Mr. Sneaky here at work as I arrange interviews for other positions. I'm torn between tellng my supervisor in an act of full disclosure, and keeping it from her until I know something definite. I'm mightily afraid of prejudicing my superiors against me until I know if I'm out of here. I keep getting bullshit assignments that are way outside of my job description from a manager and "trainer" who do very little on their own. I'm too old and experienced (and smart, frankly) to be treated as a glorified gopher. For example, I'm currently doing everything in my power to avoid rewriting a policy that was just rewritten about two months ago. And why should I have to rewrite it? Because my boss can't find a copy of the rewritten version. So I should suffer for it? My ass.

I don't know if anyone other than JT actually reads this. It's very strange to think how I pour my thoughts into this thing for no reason other than self-satisfaction. Maybe a format change would be in order? Like nothing but free form, stream-of-conciousness writing. Or maybe little mini-scripts. Who knows? I just know that my life is too damn boring for a blog.


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